Fuck

I haven't wrote in a while. Don't know why really..

My Knee healed. So I guess its time to just change the name of my blog to just bitchin'.

I'm still unemployed, but hopeful I suppose. Im going to try my hand at going back to school. We'll see how that goes.

My grandpa died July 1st. He's the only man in my life who I thought ever truly gave a shit about me.

I had surgery on my mouth July 14th. It hurts but I'm dealing. It's the hungry part that my fat ass is having a hard time dealing with.

I find myself sitting up at 5am, not tired at all. I feel SO empty. I wish my life had purpose. When I was a child I always thought that becoming an adult I could achieve things that felt so far away, and here I am, an adult .. and everything still feels so out of reach. I don't have the slighest fucking idea what I want out of life or who I wanna be. Some people are born and they KNOW what they want. to be a doctor, or a fucking scientist. I just know I dont want to be miserable. Where the fuck does that leave me?

I'm going to try to make a habit out of this again. promise.

xxx
kris