Meet The Family

I'm sorry I was a little MIA the past few days, my horrendous sleeping schedule got the best of me and I slept for the better part of 3 days and straightened myself out. Well that and my pain killers. mwahahahhaa. I'm feeling a little less emo than my last post, but a little more bitchy and feisty today. I'm going to vent a little bit more and give a little more back story to who I am if any one whom might be reading is interested in little ol' Kristen veronica.

Before I hurt myself, like I stated I was an underpaid and under appreciated Dental Assistant. I never had an interest in Dentistry, it was just a way to pay the bills. Frankly as I've gotten older instead of paving a path of success for myself, I sort of just sat around and watched the opportunities pass by me and played the poor me card for quite some time. Don't get me wrong, I often still think "poor me" but even for myself it gets old.

My mother is in her 50's, as is my father. I have a brother who is 10 years my senior, and we never had much of a relationship. When I was in my early teens my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She's fought it and beat it twice. Along with beating breast cancer she got a nasty pain killer addiction. That she hasn't fought or beat and its been going on for over 10 years now. Don't get me wrong, I can't knock my mother because she gets up for work every morning and functions. That's about it though. My father worked for the city and when the 9/11 attacks occurred he was a first responder. My father broke his hip at ground zero, was forced into early retirement and also shares a nasty oxycontin addiction (among other drugs) with my mother. My father is also suffering the health effects of not wearing proper safety equipment at ground zero and as you could imagine its not a great thing having doctors not know what's happening inside of you, so my father has giving up on life all together. That's my parents.

My brother is 32, he's married, and has a little boy who's 7. They live with us, in our home because my brother has a drug problem and can't hold a job. My sister in law is an over dramatic bitch, who feeds into my brother's shit and lets him be a stay at home dad (and by stay at home dad I mean he stays home, and he has a child, there's not much parenting involved.) My sister in law also has a drug problem and she suffers from bi-polar disorder and as of late she just got a job so we will see how long that can last. So ladies and gents, it's safe to say my 7 year old nephew and I are the only two who really function around here.

We live in a 3 family home, with my father, my mother and I in one part, my brother my sister and my nephew in another and a lovely tenant who we never hear or see in another. My mom can barely pay this ridiculous mortgage she has because she "had to save my brother and the baby". Meanwhile my sister in law's father is a wealthy investment banker who doesn't give them a dime, go figure. The house is a disaster, It's falling apart, My father doesn't move off the couch because he's slowly just awaiting his death. My brother doesn't move because he's too cracked out to function. My mother works from 5:30-1:30, comes home & crashes, wakes up, eats, watches tv, goes to bed and repeats. I don't really see my sister in law so I don't know much about her schedule except she isn't really around to care for her child because I'm doing it.

So here comes Kristen into the equation. Before I hurt myself this was a typical day of mine. I would go to work at 8 and usually return around anywhere between 5-8 to disaster. My parents and nephew are hungry. Please Feed Us. Our 2 dogs are shitting and pissing all over the house and no one will clean it up because evidently they want dogs but they don't want to take 5 minutes out of there very busy days and put them in the yard. So, I'm cooking or ordering take out, I'm cleaning up shit and piss, I'm helping a 7 year old with homework. I'm being begged by my brother and his cracked out wife for money for whatever excuse they come up with now. They used to always use the baby as an excuse so I would give them money but I've grown to know better since there drug dealer delivers. The mortgage company is actually making house calls and ringing the doorbell because my mom isn't paying the bills. It's not that she doesn't have the money to at least pay some, she just isn't paying anything because she doesn't feel like opening the mail. I also forgot to tell you that my dad is a hoarder, and throws NOTHING away. The house is covered in papers. Papers on the floor, papers on the table, papers on the couch, fucking papers everywhere. So work, cook, try my best to clean, take care of my nephew, sleep, repeat.

I tried to do as best as I could to keep it together for my nephews sake. This kid hasn't known anything else but this for his entire life so whenever I snapped I tried to make sure he wasn't around. I wish I could call social services for him and myself, but there isn't much they can do for a 22 year old.

Anyway, I hurt myself. Kristen fall down and go boom. It was the worst cast scenario for my parents. It was like fucking Armageddon for them. Who's taking out the garbage? Who's going food shopping? Who's walking the dogs? Who's cleaning? Who's wiping their asses now? For a week, my mother walked the dogs and made some TV dinners, ordered pizza. She even did laundry. My brother took the garbage out. My dad didn't participate he's too far gone to even make an attempt to care. It was interesting to watch them function while I couldn't, like I was watching animal planet or something. But, just like everything else, that didn't last long. They stopped cooking. The dogs stopped being walked. The garbage piled up. And once I actually could limp short distances, life was back to normal for them. "Kristen do this, Kristen do that, Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen Kristen !!"

Well, guess what? Kristen don't fuckin care anymore. Kristen isn't going to make the animals suffer, so she will limp one step at a time and take 25 minutes but she'll get them in the yard and she'll limp her ass back. Kristen will feed herself and her nephew but she's sure as he'll not making full on meals. Kristen will help her nephew in the best way she can, and when she can't she calls her sister in law and flips out until she does what she has to do for HER SON.

So yea. This is a little of my life. It sucks really bad when your parents don't really care about their lives or yours. and your only sibling too. Especially when you're hurt and can't do much to help yourself. But one day I won't be hurt anymore and I'm going to have to leave this house because It's not healthy for me, and I will call Social Services and hopefully I can have custody of my nephew because it's not a life either of us deserve. but It's all I can do right now while I'm stuck limping around trying to make the system work for me at home. Don't get me wrong, I don't think my parents are bad people. A lot of bad things have happened to them in life and this is the way they have dealt with it and in turn my life hasn't been the greatest. But like I said, I'm sick of the "poor me" routine. I hope I didn't bore anyone to death !

In any case in current events, I went to my orthopedic and the verdict is I have a mass on my leg and I need an MRI again to see if they can identify what it is. I'm going to be glowing after all this radiation I swear. In other unrelated knee events, I have a mouth surgery coming up in March from an accident that happened years ago that I left unattended and now I have severe bone loss on the roof of my mouth. Lets ALL say it together now, FML.

xoxoxo
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